+ The Olympics, for having women competing from every country for the first time in history.
+ The Skillful Pro, who made an exceptional forgery of a NYTimes oped in the voice of one of the former editors. I’m seriously impressed.
+ Jon Stewart, for destroying the You Didn’t Build That meme.
+ Hot tubs and fireplaces, for being a great way to unwind.
+ Sensory Friendly Movie Screenings, for probably being really fun.
+ The Ermahgerd Translator, for being amazing.
+ Catholics, for having the raw audacity to be butt hurt about this Oatmeal comic.
+ This wine table, for being kitschy and not really all that practical but still awesome
- Suckers, for painting their grass green during one of the worst droughts in US history instead of cultivating actual interests.
- The Media, for wasting my time with A. any reporting whatsoever on any of Michelle Bachmann’s opinions and B. with reporting about who won the gold medal in skeet shooting.
- SOFEX, forrealls fuck those guys.
- The Authorities, for making it so that 90% of suspected terrorists deemed too dangerous to get on airplanes are legally allowed to buy guns. I mean those no-fly lists are serious bs but like come on, can’t we just agree that terrorists shouldn’t be allowed to buy guns and explosives?